Lifestyle

The First Ten Books of 2021: For the Love of Fiction, True Crime, and Fluff

~ Kristel Marie Pujanes ~ Leave a comment
“Imagination, of course, can open any door – turn the key and let terror walk right in.” – Truman Capote

THERE IS TREMENDOUS value to facing things head-on; to rooting yourself firmly and unshakably in reality, unmoved by the maelstrom it periodically unleashes. Hic et nunc, as the Stoics put it. To be immersed in the here and now. But some days, the going can get too tough, the waters too choppy. These are the days when staying afloat feels next to impossible.

During these moments, it helps to have a hobby or ten to buoy the spirits. These hobbies act as temporary escape hatches—a place where the mind can rest as the soul regroups. As someone who’s been struggling with cycles of anxiety and depression, I understand the value of escapism. I’ve always gravitated towards solitary (and sedentary) activities like writing, reading, singing, playing the guitar, crocheting, and cross-stitching. All these hobbies help shift my focus away from what’s stressing me out at a particular moment.

Out of all these activities, there’s one that I’ve turned into a daily habit, and that’s reading. Reading a few pages at the end of a long day can help cleanse the mental palate. Bonus points if the book teaches you something. Though, to be fair, all books have something to teach—even if the lesson is something as left field as when to quit reading a bad book.

Normally, I rely on book lists and recommendations to find out what I ought to read next. This year, however, I’ve had to nix my prepared list. Health problems. I have an autoimmune disease that leaves me with brain fog and fatigue. And because focus and energy are two things I have in low supply at the moment, I need to be very selective with my readings. Nothing too long or too demanding. So, expect most of the books on this list to be on the short (but superb) side.

Alors, without further ado, my first ten books for 2021:

Book 1: The Night Diary (2018) by Veera Hiranandani

Favorite Quote: “Papa says that everyone is killing one another now, Hindus, Muslims, Sikhs. Everyone is to blame. He says that when you separate people into groups, they start to believe that one group is better than another. I think about Papa’s medical books and how we all have the same blood, and organs, and bones inside us, no matter what religion we’re supposed to be.” – Veera Hiranandani, The Night Diary

Set in 1947, at the height of the Indian Partition riots, Veera Hiranandani’s The Night Diary follows the story of one family as they escape religious persecution in their homeland. The story unfolds as the diary entries of 12-year-old Nisha. She uses her diary to write to her mother who had passed on when Nisha and her twin brother, Amil, were babies.

Now, the fact that we’re reading about the Partition—one of the bloodiest and most devastating episodes in Indian and Pakistan history—through the experiences of a 12-year-old girl makes everything even more painful. Her family’s journey from Pakistan to the New India is perilous and heartbreaking. At one point, Nisha is held at knifepoint by a man whose lost his entire family during the riots.

Though the book is a quick read, it is not a light one. The Night Diary is a complex and moving book that explores challenging and important themes like family problems, religion (and the role that it plays in our perception of others), social class, social/racial/religious identity, justice, and finding one’s voice.

A must-read.

Grade: A-

Book 2: The House on Mango Street (1984) by Sandra Cisneros

Favorite Quote: “One day I will pack my bags of books and paper. One day I will say goodbye to Mango. I am too strong for her to keep me here forever. One day I will go away.       

Friends and neighbors will say, what happened to that Esperanza? Where did she go with all those books and paper? Why did she march so far away?

                They will not know I have gone away to come back. For the ones I left behind. For the ones who cannot get out.”

The House on Mango Street is a series of vignettes told through the perspective of its heroine, Esperanza Cordero. Each chapter offers a slice of Esperanza’s life. It gives the reader an idea of what it must be like to be a 12-year-old Chicana growing up in an impoverished Hispanic neighborhood in Chicago.

Fair warning, this is a book that tackles sensitive topics like racism, sexual harassment, and domestic violence. It may be a slim volume but you can be sure that it packs a proverbial punch. It’s definitely the type of book that stays with you long after you’ve turned the final page.

Another thing I love about the book is how authentic it reads. I can practically hear Esperanza’s voice in my ear. It’s so well-written, the lingo is spot-on, and it’s emotionally honest without the histrionics. What else is there to say? Sandra Cisneros’s The House on Mango Street is definitely worthy of a spot on your reading list.

Grade: A

Book 3: Convenience Store Woman (2016) by Sayaka Murata (possible spoiler ahead)

Favorite Quote: “The normal world has no room for exceptions and always quietly eliminates foreign objects. Anyone who is lacking is disposed of.

So that’s why I need to be cured. Unless I’m cured, normal people will expurgate me.”

Convenience Store Woman is the heartwarming story of the awkward and endearing 36-year-old Keiko Furukura. As the book’s title suggests, Keiko is a proud Smile Mart employee in the Hiromachi neighborhood in Shinagawa. She’s had the same job for over 18 years, and it’s a job that she’s absolutely passionate about. To Keiko, it’s more than work—it’s her life. Working in a convenience store brings direction, stability, and purpose to her existence. It’s also where she takes her cues on how to live like a “normal” person. Now, if only society and the people around her would stop trying to mold her into something she’s not.

Out of the ten books in this list, this is my second favorite. The premise is quite simple. Quirky/misunderstood/boring middle-aged protagonist faces crushing societal pressures. Square peg forced into round hole shatters the mold—that kind of book.

Now, the plotline isn’t wholly new, but maybe that is its genius. Keiko’s struggles are universal. It’s the question of whether one should conform to society’s expectations and reap the benefits that come with that ‘peaceful’ existence or stay true to oneself and risk becoming an outcast. I think that while our experiences may differ, this is a dilemma we’ve all faced at one point or another. It’s a simple, sweet, funny, and heartfelt book. A perfect read all year round.

Grade: A+


“I am one of those cogs, going round and round. I have become a functioning part of the world, rotating in the time of day called morning.” – Sayaka Murata

Book 4: Wide Sargasso Sea (1966) by Jean Rhys

Favorite Quote: “There are always two deaths, the real one and the one people know about.”

Philip K. Dick once said, “It is sometimes an appropriate response to reality to go insane.” Now, if you’ve ever wondered about the madwoman in Jane Eyre’s attic, then this book is the salve for that particular itch. In Wide Sargasso Sea, author Jean Rhys breathes life—and what a fascinating and tragic life it turned out to be—to the infamous and violently insane, Bertha Mason. Of course, she wasn’t Bertha then. She was the beautiful, proud, and vulnerable Creole heiress, Antoinette Cosway.

Antoinette’s early life can only be described as wretched. Her family loses all their money, her mother goes insane, her brother dies early, and she’s left with no one to really love her or care for her. If not for her stepfather’s sense of responsibility, our heroine would’ve been out in the streets, or worse, dead. But the arrival of a certain Mr. Rochester might just change everything.

Of course, he marries her for her dowry, which is hardly ever a good thing, but he also presents her with the possibility of happiness and a fresh start. So where did it all go wrong? Why did our heroine go mad? Was Antoinette’s madness genetic or was it the consequence of neglect and a hostile environment? The book answers all these questions while also delving into postcolonial issues of sexism, racism, prejudice, cultural clashes, assimilation, and displacement.

Wide Sargasso Sea is undoubtedly a very important piece of literature. It’s a solid read and one that I do recommend to people who love classics. But, personally, I wish the writing and the plot were a little tighter or cleaner. I don’t know how else to describe it other than reading the book is like walking into someone’s dream or nightmare. The scenes are very vivid, but the pace is unpredictable and there are gaps in the story and the timeline that I wish were a little more fleshed out.

Grade: B

Book 5: The Duke and I (2000) by Julia Quinn

Favorite Quote: “A duel, a duel, a duel. Is there anything more exciting, more romantic…or more utterly moronic?”

A few years ago, two dear friends introduced me to the exciting world of Historical Romance. Their recommended starters? The whole Julia Quinn catalogue, starting with the first book in the Bridgerton series, The Duke and I. Now, I wasn’t planning on rereading the series just yet, but Netflix has inspired me to revisit Quinn’s works. And I’m sure glad I did.

Set in Regency London, The Duke and I is the story of how the commitment-averse Simon Basset, Duke of Hastings, and the lovely and quick-witted Daphne Bridgerton set out to dupe the ton into thinking they’re in love. Simon is determined never to marry and by pretending to court Daphne, he has a built-in excuse to keep the marriage-minded society mommas at bay. As for Daphne, she’s hoping their little plan can make her more desirable in other men’s eyes. After all, a Duke did choose her, right?

Naturally, their plan backfires. Love gets in the way.  As far as hisrom books go, this has all the elements for a good one. You have the couple getting caught in a compromising position, a duel, family drama, and a dark secret that threatens to destroy all semblance of happiness for Simon and Daphne. It’s a great, quick and fun read. I highly recommend it.

Grade: B+

Book 6: The Viscount Who Loved Me (2000) by Julia Quinn

Favorite Quote: “A man with charm is an entertaining thing, and a man with looks is, of course, a sight to behold, but a man with honor—ah, he is the one, dear reader, to which young ladies should flock.”

The Viscount Who Loved Me is the second book in Julia Quinn’s Bridgerton Series. This time, the book centers on the eldest of the Bridgerton siblings, Anthony. With his best friend, the Duke of Hastings, off the market (and married to his little sister, no less!), Anthony has become London’s most eligible bachelor.  Except he’s not looking for a bride, he’s already chosen one.

Edwina Sheffield is smart, beautiful, amiable, and someone Anthony’s sure he will never fall in love with. In short, she’s the Viscount’s idea of the perfect bride.  It’s just a matter of wooing her and getting the approval of her stubborn, willful, infuriating, and utterly irresistible older sister, Kate. Somehow, when Kate’s around, Anthony just can’t seem to bee-have. Yes, I did that.

The Viscount Who Loved Me is a strong second offering from the Bridgerton Series. I found it to be more lighthearted, generally a quicker and easier read than The Duke and I. At times laugh-out-loud funny, at times secondhand cringe-inducing, this is a book that has enough ups and downs to keep you on the edge of your seat.

Grade: A-

Book 7: In Cold Blood (1966) by Truman Capote

Favorite Quotes: “The village of Holcomb stands on the high wheat plains of western Kansas, a lonesome area that other Kansans call ‘out there.’”

“Just remember: If one bird carried very grain of sand, grain by grain, across the ocean, by the time he got them all on the other side, that would only be the beginning of eternity.”

“I thought that Mr. Clutter was a very nice gentleman. I thought so right up to the moment that I cut his throat.”

And now, my favorite book in this list—In Cold Blood by Truman Capote. The book covers the Clutter family murders and the arrest, trial, and execution of murderers Richard “Dick” Hickock and Perry Smith. As a true crime fan (the genre, not the activity), I don’t know why I waited so long before reading this seminal piece.

This is a book that shaped an entire literary genre. The fact that it’s still the second-best-selling true crime book over 50 years since its publication shows us how important and impressive In Cold Blood is. Now, I know the book has veracity issues, but I won’t be touching on that. For now, I’m basing this mini-review on my experience as a reader. And all I can say is that In Cold Blood is exquisitely written and worth the many praises it’s received from readers and critics alike.

All the characters—the Clutter family, Dick, Perry—are so fleshed-out that you can picture them as they were before their lives took a very tragic turn. It was a senseless and brutal murder that left an entire nation reeling and a town devastated. The murderers were completely inhuman in their cruelty, and yet Capote manages to somehow humanize these killers—especially Perry Smith. By doing so, the author makes the crime all the more terrifying and disturbing.

This is a staggering book. If you love good writing, true crime, and the classics, this is one for your shelf.

Grade: A+

Book 8: The Giver (1993) by Lois Lowry

Favorite Quote: “The life where nothing was ever unexpected. Or inconvenient. Or unusual. The life without color, pain or past.”

Here’s a book from my childhood—and maybe yours as well. The Giver is a dystopian tale that follows the story of 12-year-old Jonas as he begins training for his new role in society. Jonas is his community’s new Receiver of Memory. He will receive and keep all of the world’s memories and knowledge, which are to be passed on to him by his predecessor, The Giver.

Prior to his training, Jonas’s Community was Utopian. Fear, chaos, hardship, and differences were concepts that were nebulous, if not downright nonexistent. Everything in the Community was designed for order, sameness, and peace. But as Jonas’s training progressed, he started seeing the other side of the coin. For the Community to attain “Utopia,” it needed to sacrifice wonderful and perhaps worthier values like individuality, freedom of choice, speech, and expression, and the capacity to feel emotions like love, happiness, anger, and grief.  Through the world’s memories, Jonas remembered what could have been and what still could be—a world of freedom and possibility.

Lois Lowry’s The Giver is one of those books that I like to revisit at least once every decade. And every time I do, I’m amazed by the book’s continued relevance. Language-policing, mob mentality, the silencing of dissenting opinions, the oppression of what’s Other, tyranny—these are all things we continue to witness in today’s society. Honestly, we can all learn a little something from this book. So, if you haven’t read The Giver yet, please consider adding this to your reading list.

Grade: A+

Book 9: Make Good Art by Neil Gaiman (2012)

Favorite Quote: “Go and make interesting mistakes, make amazing mistakes, make glorious and fantastic mistakes. Break rules. Leave the world more interesting for your being here.”

As far as inspirational speeches go, this 19-minute commencement address by Neil Gaiman—delivered at Philadelphia’s University of the Arts in 2012—is one of the best you’ll find online. In it, Gaiman shares his thoughts on creativity, resilience, resourcefulness, and bravery. To make good art, one must be willing to put oneself out there. To make mistakes, to risk failure, to keep going even when the odds are stacked against you, especially when the odds are stacked against you. To keep believing in yourself and to keep soldiering on. All solid and effective advice.

Make Good Art is a heartwarming and rousing speech. It’s a pleasure to watch and listen to—and it makes for a quick but impactful read. This is the book for struggling and blocked artists and writers who need the occasional reminder that they have what it takes to make good art.

Rating: A-

Book 10: How to Be Parisian Wherever You Are: Love, Style, and Bad Habits by Caroline de Maigret, Sophie Mas, Audrey Diwan, Anne Berest

Favorite Quote: “Enjoy the face you have today. It’s the one you’ll wish you have ten years from now.”

Have I mentioned that I’m studying French? C’est plus difficile que je le pensais. I’m progressing a lot slower than I thought I would, but any progress is good progress, right? As part of my learning experience, I decided to read more French culture books. This year, How to Be Parisian Wherever You Are was my toe in the water.  

Now, let me tell you, this was a fun ride. I was expecting something a little more serious and instructional, but what I got was far better. How to Be Parisian is a book that doesn’t take itself too seriously. It’s snobbish, pretentious, sassy, amusing, witty, sarcastic, and funny at points. It plays to and pokes fun at the stereotypes we have of Parisian women. It also has a number of great recipes that I can’t wait to try. It’s a good, fun book for when you need a chuckle.

Grade: B+

Memento Homo: Finding Meaning in Your Mortality

~ Kristel Marie Pujanes ~ 1 Comment

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Image by: Reimund Bertrams from Pixabay

Frank Herbert once said, “To suspect your own mortality is to know the beginning of terror, to learn irrefutably that you are mortal is to know the end of terror.”

Now, being inspired by aphorisms like YOLO (you only live once) is one thing. I mean, true, there is emphasis on having one life, but it’s easy to stay positive when the conversation is about life or living. However, when you throw in words like mortality and impermanence, when the focus shifts to death, well, that’s when things can take a turn for the bleak. For most people, myself included, the idea of facing one’s impending death is a terrifying thought.

Sure, one can talk about death and the permanent peace that comes with it. But oftentimes when such talk arises, it’s one that’s cloaked in abstractness. For the healthy person, at least, death may seem like a concept—a faraway thing separate from the reality he/she inhabits.

The truth is that few people want constant reminders of the impermanence of everything—especially life. It’s certainly not small-talk material. And yet, many mental health experts believe that facing and accepting one’s mortality can be an important ingredient to a better life. In Stoicism, for example, the path to eudaimonia, a.k.a. the life worth living, requires reminding yourself of the transient nature of your life and everything and everyone you hold dear.

In Massimo Pigliucci’s enlightening book, How to Be a Stoic, he asks the readers to come to terms with the impermanence of everything. He introduces the short Latin phrase used by Roman generals to remind themselves of their mortality—memento homo, Remember, you are only a man.

Now, I don’t quite know where the phrase originated from, but according to this source, Julius Caesar had asked an Auriga (slave) to whisper it to him during his victorious march.  Memento homo was a way for the great Roman General to keep his mortality and humanity in mind in the face of his great achievements. I guess in a way it was there to keep the general’s head in the game by keeping his ego in check. And that makes perfect sense. Ancient Rome was a place rife with plotting, conniving, and murder. Letting your guard down at any moment could prove fatal. Just ask any of the 80+ Roman emperors who were assassinated.

That’s all well and good for the ancient Romans, but how exactly does facing our mortality benefit us, the modern common folk? Well, for this lifelong student, the following advantages come to mind:

Contemplating and accepting our mortality gives us time to make preparations for the inevitable.

A former colleague once joked about the best graduation gift he’s ever received. It was a funeral plan, complete with his own plot of land where he could set up camp permanently in the very distant future. I remember we all got a big laugh out of it. We were all in our early 20s and the gift had seemed ridiculous then. Fast-forward to a decade later and the gift no longer seems ridiculous—if anything, it’s practical. The last few years have taught me that death is almost always unexpected. And while I’m not telling anyone to start purchasing funeral plans, or start giving them out to friends and family at Christmas, at a certain point, we’ll all have to start making some preparations.

Whether it’s setting up a trust fund for the kids, investing in life insurance, drafting a will, or creating a map that details the location of buried treasure, I think it might somewhat help our loved ones when it’s our time to go. Of course, having a ready last will and testament will not lessen the pain experienced by one’s family, but it might prevent further friction between them. I have heard about too many families fight over property, money, and other assets. If we can help save them from that kind of pain, why wouldn’t we?

Pondering death can motivate us to live our lives intentionally.

When somebody asks you, “What is your life’s purpose?”, sometimes it may sound like a loaded question, an opening for judgment. There is pressure to give an answer that would be considered noble, grand, or laudable. Now, I know a lot of people who struggle with this question. However, the upside of choosing your life’s purpose is that you get to decide on which things give your life meaning. The truth is that you define your own goals and objectives. No one else has the right to fault you for whatever answer you may have, or if you choose not give an answer at all. As the Wiccans put it, “Do what you will if it harms none.”

And the beauty of pondering and accepting the inevitability of death is that, in a way, it can help motivate you to pursue your dreams and to focus on the things that give your life value. Life is short—oftentimes, it feels too short. So, there’s no better time to start building the life you want than the present. Whether or not you achieve all your dreams isn’t as important as going after them. That is what it means to live your life with purpose.

Remembering that we must return to dust teaches us to appreciate what we have.

Take a deep breath and picture everything and everyone you love. Let your mind’s eye dwell on every detail of every person, pet, item, or place that brings your life tremendous joy or meaning. Do you have a clear picture yet? Now, imagine each one fading into nothingness. One day, everything and everyone we love will be taken away. Either we’ll go first or they will. This is the impermanence of everything.

It’s hardly a comforting thought, I know. But you know what is comforting? It’s the fact that we’re still here—and if we’re lucky, most of the things and people we love are still here as well. Our time on Earth is very limited. So, why don’t we spend the time we have left to show our love and appreciation for our loved ones? Now, before the clock runs out.

Thinking about death offers liberation from stigma and definition.

This is where memento homo really kicks in. Imagine being one of those triumphant Roman generals. You have vanquished your enemies and you might just be the most powerful man or woman in one of the most powerful empires of all time. You are the top dog. It’s so easy to get swept up in the hype (whether yours or other people’s), and you may even fancy yourself god-like with all your amazing achievements. Then, an Auriga comes up to you and whispers, “Remember, you are only a man.”

Now, let’s flip the coin. Imagine being the general who is forced into retreat. The advancing powers have left your army decimated and you have escaped by the skin of your teeth. You are cloaked in shame and are consumed with the guilt of having disgraced your family, your ruler, and your people. You weep at the thought that your name is forever sullied by your defeat. Then, the Auriga’s words ring clear in your memory, “Remember, you are only a man.”

While, as mentioned earlier, the reminder brings a unique set of advantages to an actual general/dictator/emperor, remembering that you will one day be gone and even forgotten is still pretty good advice today. It teaches you to see yourself beyond your reputation (how other people see you), your greatest strengths, and your most staggering failings. You are going to be just one of the many people who have graced the Earth. You are neither your greatest achievement nor your greatest failure. There’s a certain poignancy and freedom that comes with truly understanding that statement.

Knowing and understanding this can help free you from whatever definition or stigma you may carry inside of you. Here is a simple fact of life. We all win some and lose some and that’s all part of the journey.

Accepting our mortality reminds us to be mindful and to live hic et nunc (here and now).

The minute we’re born, our body’s countdown to the end begins. It’s a peculiar clock. There’s no way to see how much time we have left. We have no way to halt or significantly slow its pace, though a myriad of things can quicken its ticking. This should be a reminder to us that each moment we have is precious and should not be wasted.

I believe that instinctively, we all know this to be true. And yet, so many of us still spend our days just half-present. Somehow the days meld together into an unrecognizable heap that by the end of the week, we can’t even remember what we had for breakfast last Wednesday. While man has yet to discover how to physically time travel, our minds have become proficient at living in the past and worrying about the future. Going through life in this manner, speeding through life just half-there to experience the ride is a surefire way to gather deathbed regrets. And what use is regret when you can no longer rectify your errors?

This is where the importance of mindfulness and living in the hic et nunc (here and now) comes in. When faced with certain death, you wouldn’t want to be the person who spends your final hours taking stock of the countless should’ves, would’ves, and could’ves. So, slow down. Be here now. Live every moment with intention and appreciation. Make use of the time you have left wisely and deliberately.

Writing Exercise: A Book that Changed My Life

~ Kristel Marie Pujanes ~ 2 Comments

My 2010 Copy of Sophies WOrld
My tattered copy of Sophie’s World

Some books will make you smile for a moment, others will make you weep and ache for days—I’m looking at you, Anne Frank and Elie Wiesel. But my favorites are the ones that stick with you forever, the ones that change the course of your life in one sitting. Now I’ve been fortunate enough to have read a number of life-changing books, and today, I’ll be featuring one of my earliest favorites—Sophie’s World by Jostein Gaarder.

It was one of my payday gifts to myself. The book had sat, fat, shiny, and bright blue on the cramped shelf, occupying more space than the other novels beside it. Price-wise, it was a bit more than what I’d pay for if I got another Penguin Classic. But I’m a sucker for hefty books in pretty packaging—one of my reading mottos being, “More pages = more bang for my buck.” So, with just a glance at the title and the author, Sophie’s World made its way home with me that night.

In case you haven’t read Sophie’s World, (a book I highly recommend but understand isn’t for everyone), here’s a bit of a warning: it reads more like a crash course on the history of philosophy than an actual work of fiction. Sure, the part that is fiction is very compelling and well-written, but the bulk of the book consists of philosophy lessons being fed via mail to the novel’s protagonist, 13-year-old Sophie Amundsen.

Now, this structure may be off-putting to other readers. And that’s fair. Most of the time, we pick up novels as a means to escape real life, not to be inundated by lengthy history and philosophy lessons. However, to me, Sophie’s World was the spark that started my lifelong love for Philosophy and Philosophy Books. Now, prior to this book, I have read and loved other think-reads from great authors like George Orwell, Milan Kundera, Alan Lightman, and Kurt Vonnegut. But Sophie’s World was the book that inspired me to really study philosophy. To read Plato, Sartre, and Kierkegaard (to name a few), to watch lectures, to take certificate courses in Coursera, and to listen to podcasts like The Partially Examined Life and Philosophy Bites.

By introducing me to philosophy, Sophie’s World has helped give direction to my life. It helped shape my life’s purpose, which is to keep learning, to constantly seek truth, and to always strive to do good. And for that, I am very grateful.

What about you? What’s one of your biggest literary game-changers?

Choosing Happiness: Are You a Maximizer or a Satisficer?

~ Kristel Marie Pujanes ~ Leave a comment

A couple of months ago, I hit a slump—and I mean, I really hit it. Creatively, physically, socially, emotionally, financially, and mentally. Pretty much any other word you can append a –ly to. Ecumenically. As far as winters of discontent go, this one was admittedly pretty middling, but harsh enough to warrant a bit of sunshine. So, out went one of my favorite summer self-improvement reads, The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin.

Now, one of the things I love about The Happiness Project is that despite having the word Happiness right-smack in the middle of its title, it’s not an overly sentimental, leap-of-faith, and hokey-ish kind of read. In fact, Rubin spends quite a lot of time citing different studies from psychologists, anthropologists, neurologists, philosophers, and other health and happiness experts. She looks at happiness as something attainable, something you can work towards through a series of actionable items. And I like that. During moments when it feels like there’s no light at the end of the tunnel, I need to know that I can still bring my own lamp—light my own way.

So, while I’m in the process of sifting through muck, I wanted to share my thoughts about some of the ideas I’m currently reading about. For today, we’re taking a look at how a person’s decision-making process affects his or her happiness.

Maximizers and Satisficers: A Definition of Terms

One of my favorite ideas from The Happiness Project is something that Rubin picked up from the American psychologist, Barry Schwartz. In Schwartz’s book, The Paradox of Choice: Why More is Less, he discusses how being faced with so many options can cause us anxiety, stress, and even analysis paralysis. He talks about two distinct types of shoppers—the maximizer and the satisficer.

Now, in the world of economics, it is assumed that buyers are geared towards availing of the best services and products available. Maximizers fit this assumption perfectly. The maximizer is the type of shopper who wants to make the best and the most informed decisions at all times. Even when faced with a product or service that ticks all the boxes, the maximizer won’t be able to make up his or her mind until all options have been examined or exhausted.

For the maximizer, there is always this nagging feeling that something better might be out there. In a way, you can say that maximizers are the consummate perfectionists of the buying world. The maximizer will not settle for anything less than the best. Now, according to an article from Psychology Today, the upside to not settling is that “overall, maximizers achieve better outcomes than satisficers.”

In a 2012 study from Swarthmore College, it was discovered that recent graduates with maximizing tendencies ended up accepting jobs with starting salaries that were up to 20% higher than their satisficing counterparts. However, despite earning more than their peers, the perfectionist aspect of the maximizers still had these graduates second-guessing their decisions. They were still asking themselves, “What if there’s a better option out there?” They were more prone to comparing themselves to others as a way of gauging whether or not they’ve ended up with the best possible outcome.

See, the main downside to being a maximizer is that you’re less certain about the choices you make. This makes a maximizing shopper more prone to disappointment and buyer’s remorse, which in turn lessens his or her happiness levels.

And happiness is where satisficers earn a leg up over their maximizing peers. See, unlike the maximizer and his/her sky-high expectations, satisficers tend to live by a more modest criteria. Don’t get me wrong, the satisficing customer isn’t about to settle for anything less than what he/she originally wanted, but once a product or a service meets the shopper’s requirements, he/she will have no qualms making a decision. And unlike the maximizer, the satisficer stops looking for other options, thereby inoculating him/her against buyer’s remorse.

This is the point that Barry Schwartz makes in The Paradox of Choice. Satisficers tend to be happier than maximizers because they’re perfectly content with “good enough.” They don’t agonize as much over their decisions; and if you think about it, that’s really not a bad way to go through life.

So, are you a Satisficer, a Maximizer, or are you a mix of both?

Now, the beauty of learning about these tendencies is that it lets us take a step back to evaluate what’s important to us and what works for us. Both shopping personalities offer great advantages. Some people are perfectly happy being maximizers, while others swear by their satisficing tendencies. Others still, are a mix of both. They’re maximizers when it comes to certain areas in their lives and satisficers in other areas.

So, which type are you? If you’re unsure about which category you fall under, here’s a Maximizer vs Satisficer Quiz from Psychologist World. Me, I’m 65% a satisficer and 35% a maximizer. How about you?

In Preparation for Spring Cleaning: The KonMari Tidying Order

~ Kristel Marie Pujanes ~ 3 Comments

Some weeks ago, I wrote a post about how a messy workplace affects a person’s creativity and productivity. While I’d like to think that the messy state of my life and my possessions is simply the manifestation of my, gulp, creative mind, 31 years of transforming living spaces into pig sties has taught me what productivity experts have been saying and rhyming for the last decade—MESS really does create STRESS.

I can’t begin to count and recount the multitude of anxiety attacks I’ve suffered over “losing” key items like my keys, my wallet, other people’s paychecks, and even a land title/car registration or two-wenty. I once ‘lost’ my mobile phone only to find it ringing in the fridge.

Now, I know, these things happen to the best of us. The unprecedented success of Mari Kondo’s book, The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up, is testament to how millions of people see the disorganized state of their affairs as a setback when it comes to their pursuit of productivity and happiness. Many of us perceive tidying as the hallelujah solution to most, if not all of our problems.

So, with spring, (and consequently, the period for Spring Cleaning), just around the corner, I thought it best to impart some of finest lessons I’ve learned from Mari Kondo’s ‘life-changing’ book—particularly the KonMari Tidying Order. I’m hoping that this will help you get a head start on your annual spring cleaning project too.

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